Most of us think of abuse as something physical. While there’s no denying the damage physical abuse can do, emotional abuse can often create scars that are just as deep.
One form of emotional abuse in a relationship is narcissistic abuse. Unfortunately, it’s not always as easy to spot as some kind of physical counterpart. You have to be willing to admit to yourself that you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, and when that person is someone you care about, it’s often easier to “ignore” certain red flags.
But narcissistic abuse is very real and very dangerous. It is crucial to identify it as soon as possible and take steps to keep yourself safe.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at how you can identify narcissistic abuse in a relationship and what you should do if you’re experiencing it.
What Is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is mostly verbal, manifesting in the form of insults, accusations, criticisms, and even threats. A narcissistic individual has no problem putting down others—even those they claim to love.
Your partner might try to manipulate or gaslight you, even in front of people. That could include isolating you, giving you the silent treatment, or even lying to other people about you.
While those things might not immediately seem like “abuse,” they certainly are, and they can cause a lot of pain.
People tend to become narcissists because of their own pain. They don’t want to deal with their own feelings, so they use manipulation techniques to project negative feelings onto other people. While narcissistic personality disorder is a very real thing, it’s also not an excuse for abuse.
Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
There are countless ways to spot narcissistic abuse in a relationship. The most important thing to note is that narcissists will always try to gain and keep control, and they’ll typically go to extreme lengths for it.
Gaslighting is a huge red flag when it comes to narcissistic abuse. Your partner might make you feel like everything you do is wrong or that you’re always to blame. They might even make you start to question your worth. If you find yourself apologizing often or you tend to make excuses for your partner’s behavior, you’re likely being gaslit in the relationship.
Other common issues within a narcissistic relationship include verbal abuse, projection, and constant criticism.
Looking for more tangible signs? A narcissistic abuser might try to isolate you. By keeping you from friends and family, they’ll feel more in control, and they’ll know you’re less likely to get actionable advice from people who really care about you.
What Can You Do?
If any of these signs sound familiar, it’s crucial to protect yourself. Often, that means getting out of the relationship. It’s rare for a narcissist to change unless they recognize their own issues and are willing to get help.
If you don’t leave the relationship, you can end up suffering from both short-term and long-term effects. It’s not uncommon to experience anxiety, depression, memory issues, or even physical health symptoms.
Instead of dealing with a narcissist any longer, know when it’s appropriate to leave the relationship and make a commitment to start focusing on yourself. A narcissistic abuser can tear down your self-esteem and make you feel worthless. When you step out on your own, you can start to rebuild from the ground up while focusing on your needs.
Thankfully, you don’t have to do it alone. If you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, don’t hesitate to contact me for more information about relationship or couples counseling. You are valued and worthy and deserve to feel that way every day.
