The best relationships have boundaries. While on the surface, establishing boundaries within your relationship might seem like setting “rules,” those rules are important so you and your partner both feel safe, comfortable, valued, and understood. Boundaries, in general, are good for relationships. They help maintain a healthy balance between you and your partner, and they can build intimacy and bring you closer because you’re both willing to communicate. Maybe you already know that boundaries are important, but you aren’t sure how to set them in your relationship.
If you’re willing to foster open communication and express your needs, setting healthy boundaries can be easier than you think. Let’s cover a few tips to make it easier, so you and your partner can establish a healthy precedent for what you expect from each other.
Express Your Needs
One of the best ways to start setting healthy boundaries is to openly and honestly talk about your needs. Yes, it’s okay to have expectations in your relationship. They need to be realistic, of course, but you should have a set standard for yourself and your partner. Complete transparency will make it easier to talk about those expectations. Far too often, relationships run into trouble because one or both partners aren’t completely open about what they really need. That can lead to everything from frustration to resentment. Your partner can’t read your mind. If they cross a boundary or do something you’re uncomfortable with, you can’t blame them if you haven’t talked to them beforehand. Get things out in the open now, and you’ll run into fewer issues.
Be An Active Listener
While it’s important to express your needs honestly, listening to your partner’s expectations is also important. Being an active listener involves more than just hearing what your partner has to say. If they’re trusting you enough to be open about their boundaries, it’s essential for you to really understand what they’re saying. Letting them know you’re listening and that you’re going to take their needs seriously will make them feel valued and appreciated.
It’s Okay to Need Space
While you and your partner are on the same team and should work as a unit, that doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment together. It’s easy to lose your sense of self in a relationship if you don’t set healthy boundaries. Unfortunately, that can cause resentment later on, especially if things ever become rocky.
Taking time for yourself is just as important as spending time with your partner. It’s okay to need space, and it’s okay to ask for it. Let your partner know that your alone time is important, and use it to recharge, practice self-care, and rediscover things about yourself. Encourage them to do the same, and the time you spend together will be much more valuable.
Healthy Boundaries Mean Healthier Relationships
Healthy boundaries start with strong communication. All of the suggestions listed here are great ways to establish boundaries, but only if you communicate the right way. That means you’re not giving your partner a list of demands or rules they need to follow “or else.”
Rather, it’s about communicating with respect and truly expressing what you need and want from the relationship. When you’re willing to be vulnerable about those needs, you can expect them to do the same. That kind of openness will not only ensure comfort and trust in your relationship but will grow your intimacy.
If you’re struggling to set healthy boundaries or want to learn more about how to express your needs, feel free to contact me to set up an appointment for couples counseing or relationship counseling.
